Free to be You

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For those of you who haven’t seen it, Portlandia is an IFC Production Co. TV comedy that pokes not-so-gentle fun at the stereotypical trendiness and political correctness of the residents of that Oregon city. A scene in one segment shows the star couple trying to buy a phone in a cell-phone store.

The clerk asks the couple’s preference among dozens of plans, dozens of types and styles of phones, then several styles of sunglasses that the store is offering “free” to new buyers. He presents a dizzying number of choices and insists the couple consider each carefully. Don’t even think about popping in and out for a phone.

The scene dramatizes the annoying number of choices with which we’re presented in buying stuff today.

Coincidentally, I recently heard a TED Conference presentation on the subject of freedom of choice by psychologist and author, Barry Schwartz. Having to pick among so many choices, he says, sometimes results in paralysis – the inability to choose. And when we do choose, our expectations are raised to such an extent that we are less satisfied with our choice than we would be with fewer choices. With so many choices, we are left with the feeling that “we could have done better.” 

Personal freedom, including freedom of choice, is among western society’s most cherished values. (It’s important for non-western cultures, too, but for many in those cultures, it’s secondary to survival.) That’s one reason why merchandisers provide it. And I think the perceived lack of freedom is among the reasons many people decline to be involved with religion.

I’m not free to be me if I’m religious, it is reasoned. It’s one more thing that ties me to my parents and their generation. To be really free, I have to break with religion along with reading newspapers or watching the news, being hairy, joining clubs or drinking Martinis. 

So, here are some observations about freedom and religion, specifically the Christian religion.

First, regarding God, we sort of want it both ways. A characteristic of the Christian God that most disturbs us is his/her absence. "Hellooo. Where are you, God?" we ask. If he/she exists, why doesn’t he/she make himself/herself visible? But we also want our freedom, and if God were visible, we wouldn’t have it. A visible God would be so intrusive, so dominant, we couldn’t resist him/her.

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Second, God doesn’t oblige us to join any religion, including the Christian one. According to Christian theology, God invites; we can respond or not. We are invited to develop a relationship with God - and in the case of Christianity, his son, Jesus – and join with other believers in a community of faith. If we respond affirmatively, we still must think critically about what makes sense, and what is relevant for us, but we don’t have to do an exhaustive review of every other possible choice. God may have something to do with the obvious choice before us and we may simply be ignoring it.

In my case, some might say that I really didn’t choose to be a Catholic because it was the religion of my parents. I was born into it and am conditioned to it. Catholicism is simply my comfort zone.

I acknowledge that religions, especially ones like Judaism and Catholicism, are cultural, maybe even tribal. And going to Mass and doing the other things Catholics do may not be a matter of choice for the early years of life, but eventually you have to decide for yourself. And to make that decision rationally, you have to look at the options – including the option of not believing – and make a choice.

Oddly enough, making that choice brings freedom. You’re free from the pressures of society’s beliefs and values and free to bask in the goodness and kindness of God. You choose to be “religious” and the norms and creeds that come with it, which help to deepen the relationship with God.

It’s like a good marriage. You choose a partner for life and you don’t look back. Does that choice limit your freedom of choice, including the choice of romantic relationships with others? Of course, because all choices imply the rejection of alternatives. That’s what’s meant by choice. But it doesn't mean you're not free.

As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, being “religious” is not about joining an organization or being tribal. It’s about accepting an invitation and all that implies. It’s like saying in the Portland cell-phone store, “I want that phone. Thanks.”